


one of the good ones

by LiveLaughLovex



Category: Blue Bloods (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-17
Updated: 2018-10-17
Packaged: 2019-08-03 17:32:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16330505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LiveLaughLovex/pseuds/LiveLaughLovex
Summary: The ride back to Brooklyn after they wrapped up the undercover assignment was deafeningly silent. Neither Jamie nor Eddie knew quite what to say. There were issues between the two of them they hadn’t addressed since she’d rather bluntly told him over dinner two days before that there was no way he was going to talk her out of taking on the assignment.Based on the promos for 9.04, "Blackout." Includes spoilers and mentions of past assault.





	one of the good ones

The ride back to Brooklyn after they wrapped up the undercover assignment was deafeningly silent. Neither Jamie nor Eddie knew quite what to say. They’d managed to catch the serial rapist they’d been chasing for the past few days, a feat they were proud to have accomplished. But while they were both relieved the man responsible for so much pain was finally off the streets, there were issues between the two of them they hadn’t addressed since she’d rather bluntly told him over dinner two days before that there was no way he was going to talk her out of taking on the assignment.

Eddie knew that some of the things she’d said to him in that diner were unfair. Of all the men walking the earth, Jamie was probably the least likely to ever accuse a battered woman of being too weak, too flirtatious, or too drunk. He was not the type to insinuate that any wronged person was asking for what was done to them. Like his various family members – and all sane people currently inhabiting the planet – he blamed the attacker, not the victim. But he’d also never feared for his life while rejecting a date or walking home from a late-night lecture. Despite his best efforts, there really were some things he could never understand, at least not completely. It just so happened those were also the things Eddie happened to understand all too well.

She hadn’t taken the assignment because Jamie hated the idea of it. She’d taken it because she’d been fortunate enough to get away from men like the one they were trying to hunt down. She knew what it was to be humiliated, to be taken advantage of, to be violated in the most awful of ways, but her experiences didn’t have anything on the experiences of the girls she was trying to help. Men like Jake Singer and Skip Fuller were likely always going to be around. If she couldn’t reform every single one of them, then she could, at the very least, throw their asses in a cell.

They arrived at the apartment before either of them had spoken a single word about anything other than the chill in the air or the light drizzle that’d started up outside. Jamie moved to climb from the car, likely planning to circle around and open her door as he always did. Before he could, Eddie reached for his hand.

“When I was in college,” she began quietly, knowing without glancing up from their interlocked fingers that she had his complete attention, “one of the other students in my building was walking back to the dorms late at night, just like these girls were. What happened to her is probably part of the reason I became a cop. Not that I knew it at the time.”

Jamie exhaled shakily. “You never told me that,” he informed her evenly, his voice conveying he felt no anger in that moment. She had no doubt there were stories about his past he’d never told her, as well, tales of people long gone too bittersweet to remember so many years later.

“Yeah, well, I don’t like to remember it.” She lifted her gaze to stare out the windshield. “You’re one of the best guys I’ve ever known, Jamie. You’re my best friend, have been since the day I met you.”

“Eddie,” Jamie murmured, but she continued on before he could say anything else.

“I promise I’m getting somewhere with this,” she assured him. “Everything I said in that diner, about you not knowing what it’s like to live in fear walking down the street at night, I wasn’t just talking about you. I was talking about myself, too. Jamie, I haven’t lived in fear like those girls in a long time now, because I haven’t had to. For five years now, I’ve had you.”

Jamie glanced at her confusedly, and she hurried to explain herself. “Do you remember what happened with Jake Singer, that guy I went on a blind date with, like, two months after we started riding together?”

Jamie drew in a deep breath and then scoffed quietly. “Eddie, I’m never going to forget,” he replied honestly. “There aren’t all that many guys I’ve actually thought about killing in such great detail.”

“I’m not sure that’s true. There are many scumbags we’ve crossed paths with over the years. But that’s not the point. After that night, after what you did to make sure I knew what happened wasn’t my fault, I knew I had someone in my corner. I knew I had someone who would fight my fight, if it came to that. Since the day I actually became a cop, I’ve had you. That’s why I took the assignment. Because those girls that guy hurt, they didn’t have anybody. They were alone. And Skip and his friends made sure back in college that I knew a few things about how scary it is to be alone.” Eddie returned her gaze to their joint hands. “But you’re not responsible for that, for the actions of some of the so-called men in this city. The other night at dinner, I feel like I might’ve made you feel like you are. I’m sorry I was so harsh when you brought it up.”

 “No, Eddie, you said what needed to be said,” Jamie told her, his thumb stroking along the back of her hand. “I’m stubborn when it comes to you. Always have been, always will be. It started five years ago, it’s not going to go away. When I found out you were asked to take the case on, I was terrified. As your fiancé, not your sergeant or your former partner. You’re a damned good cop. But you’re also the most important person in my life. So, yeah, the idea of you being bait for that bastard, it made me sick. But it wasn’t because I doubted your abilities. It took you saying what you did for me to see that I wasn’t thinking like your superior officer. I was thinking like the man in love with you. There are some situations where I can’t be both, or I’m going to end up sending myself into an early grave. This just so happened to be one of them.”

Eddie nodded. “It’s hard,” she replied quietly.

“Yeah,” he agreed without hesitation. “But we knew that going in. There were plenty of warnings issued.”

“I think it’d be hard either way,” she commented, focus once again on her lap. “Like you said, you reacted as my fiancé, not my sergeant. We could’ve been sent to precincts on opposite sides of the city, and you’d still worry like you did tonight.”

“Yeah, this being in love thing turns out to be real complicated,” Jamie replied sarcastically, causing Eddie to laugh quietly. “I mean, I was about ready to punch out Davis when I heard about the offer. That sure wasn’t me thinking like a boss.”

“To be fair, you thought about punching out superiors long before this ring was on my finger,” Eddie pointed out, smiling fondly when Jamie accepted the playful accusation with an acknowledgeable nod. “I’m still sorry for scaring you. You’re one of the good ones, Reagan. You make it easy for me to forget sometimes.”

“To forget what?” Jamie asked curiously.

The smile she flashed in his direction as she lifted their joint hands to her mouth and pressed a kiss to his fingers was heartbreakingly sad and slightly haunted. “That not every girl in this city gets so lucky.”


End file.
